Having recently been dumped twice in the last 2 months by the same man as you can imagine my emotional state is shaky at best (catastrophic at worst). Trying to get through each day is hard work, having to put on that ’I’m okay’ smile and pretend that you are happy to be out and about when all you want to do is shut your self away, hide under your duvet and generally wallow in your own self pity. The over analysis of why everything went wrong and what could have been done differently is incessant. He is annoyingly and consistently on the brain, and although I’m obviously pissed off that I’ve been pushed out of a relationship I wasn’t in any rush to leave the more depressing thing is I have lost all interest doing anything (well expect alcohol that does seems to be a new habit I’ve picked up).
All through my life I have turned to my favourite films to get me through tough times. I love going to the cinema and losing myself in the stories unfolding on screen, but when you have a broken heart there are so many movies that you have to avoid or you will find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster best dealt with under the duvet rather than in a packed picture house. Take the films that are on release currently, they may look innocent enough but at some point that storyline is going to get you. Harry Potter – young and nubile youths embarking on their first romances, destined to live happy ever after, urgh! Two sappy rom-coms in the form of The Proposal and The Ugly Truth, just avoid at all costs. When you are down and depressed you do not need to watch Katharine Heigal and Sandra Bullock looking amazing while winning the hearts of Gerard Butler and Ryan Reynolds. Taking of Pelham 123, happily married Denzel Washington gets mixed up in the kidnapping of a New York Train, right now I can’t ever see myself being happily married, let along happily wed to a man like Denzel Washington (even if he has put on 20lbs for this role). So that leaves me with Transformers: The Revenge of the Fallen, GI Joe and Ice Age 3… all of which would make me cry for very different reasons.
So what would I recommend? Denial followed by abject bitterness does seem the way forward but this can only last so long and it has been a month so maybe I should have a look at the my DVD collection and make some choices. An oversized glass of wine and the whole 6 series of Sex and City might just do the trick for now or at least until I can make my way back to my old faithful companion – the movies. Of course resentment is still there as a fall back.
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